'Say goodbye to [your] college fund': Teenager deliberately disobeys her father, stealing $10,000 for a vacation; dad revokes her college fund

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    Arm - "I said no"
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    Font - r/AmIthe ole Posted by u/Beneficial-Bottle693 18 hours ago AITA For telling my daughter she can say goodbye to the rest of her college fund? Not the ple My daughter is seventeen and applying for colleges.
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    Font - We have a college fund saved up for her that we've been adding to since she was an infant. Its a good sizeable chunk of money and a lot of donations from family have gone into it as well as her own savings occasionally.
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    Font - We have always made it clear that the money in there is for college only. She never had to put her savings in there (has a seperate savings account) but did so anyway.
  • 05
    Font - Anyway, her girlfriend lives in Australia and they are both insanely big Supernatural fans. They have both wanted to go to a convention for years - at least five that I can remember.
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    Font - Two of the main guys are going to be at a convention in Australia. She begged me to let her go, I said no, but the con is set for after her 18th. I can't stop her if she pays for it. (I assumed she would use her savings).
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    Human body - I checked the college account to add some in and noticed a chunk of money missing.
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    Font - I went to speak to my daughter about it and she admitted to using the money to pay for the convention. She bought herself plane tickets, her girlfriend plane tickets
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    Font - (other end of the country), both of their con tickets as well as booking a hotel. The con is three or four days but she's planning on staying for a couple weeks and making a vacation out of it.
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    Font - All in all she's taken about 10k. I lost it, honestly. Demanded she cancel which fell on deaf ears. I tried to cancel for her but she won't be refunded everything so I'm hesitant to do so.
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    Font - She's insisting that it's her money and she can do what she likes with it. Claims she still has enough for college and this is a once in a lifetime experience.
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    Font - I believe this has shown her extreme immaturity and inability to manage her futute and money. I am so incredibly angry that she would go and do this.
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    Font - I told her she could say goodbye to the rest of her college fund and have locked the account - I'm now the only person with access. She's said she'll pay it back but it seems unlikely.
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    Font - My wife thinks I'm being harsh and that she's right - she put at least 5k into the account herself, so she really only took 5k (which my mother in law has since said she'll pay back). I think this just teaches her she can pay her way out of messes.
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    Font - I was certain in mh decision but everyone is acting like I'm the ole. She's a teenage a girl and her entire life shouldn't revolve around college. I'm still uncertain. So here I am. AITA?
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    Font - fuzzy_mic 18 hr. ago Craptain [197] You put the money into the fund to send your daughter to college, not to some fan convention in Australia. Now you are making sure that that money doesn't help send your daughter to college.
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    Font - If this is your way of getting your daughter to college, it stinks. I can't help but note that you (the responsible adult) didn't set up the account with the withdrawal protections that you could have. You should
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    Font - have been wise enough to know that a 17 year old with free access to that big of a pile of cash shouldn't have access to it without any limits. (That in no way excuses your daughter, but it does mean that you should have had more foresight into the folly that teens can do.)
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    Font - MIL is putting herself in where she isn't needed. She needs to understand that it isn't about dollars, its about being responsible. NTA for telling your daughter that she isn't getting the money. But you would be a
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    Font - real idiot if you followed through with that to the extend of emptying the account, depriving yourself of the option to change your mind when you cool down and are looking at a high school graduate who needs a job.
  • 21
    Font - sdlucly 17 hr. ago. edited 46 min. ago This is the way to go. Never trust kids with the money for college, pay for it yourself.
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    Font - lostandlooking. 16 hr. ago Yep. My parents didn't save college money for me, but I know many people who's parents did, and not a single one of them who could ever touch that money themselves.
  • 23
    Font - VaticanCattleRustler. 16 hr. ago This. Also, it's probably a good idea to have OP's daughter learn some responsibility. I'd recommend putting off college for at least a year and making her work a regular job and
  • 24
    Font - learn how much that can s k. Learn to balance and pay her bills and the value of a dollar. It'll probably be a painful lesson now, but much much more painful to learn that later in life

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